Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

a rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Politic Jokes More Politic Jokes

What's the difference between US Politics and WWE?

one is a predetermined charade that takes a tremendous amount of willingness to suspend disbelief the other is pro wrestling.

Why is politics for the birds?

Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How does a road reply when you ask it how work is going?

It's tiring.

What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?

You punch her

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?

There was some money in the kitty !

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the seamen say to his friend?

It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head.

What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10?

Friend: 9 Me: 9? I'll give her one..

Highway Jokes More Highway Jokes

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway?

Because he always took the low road.

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield

President Jokes More President Jokes

What do call the President of Russia with an upset stomach?

Vladimir Poopin

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.