Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

a rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you trust a snowman?

Because they're all a bunch of flakes

How did Chernobyl disaster happen ?

scientist A : Are you sure ? scientist B : Trust me, I know what i'm doing.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Which doctor?

I replied "No, a medical one."

Why did the doctor kick his patients?

He was trying to heel them.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?

Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

Bow Jokes More Bow Jokes

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What do you call a field used to grow bows and arrows?

An archerd.

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did the bucket's mom know he was sick?

He was a little pail.

How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Why did my computer just say hello?

Oh, that's right. It's A Dell.

Why couldn't the computer play golf?

Because it had the wrong Driver