Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

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How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

a rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

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Saudi Arabia Jokes More Saudi Arabia Jokes

Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times?

Because they live under Iraq.

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

India Jokes More India Jokes

Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists ?

Because it didn't happen in 7/11

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Toronto host the (hockey) World Junior Championships?

They wanted to see what a winning team looked like.

How can you tell an engineer is an extrovert?

He looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

King Jokes More King Jokes

What is the proper way to address the king of the ghosts?

A: Your ghostliness.

How did the king die?

He had a bad heir day

Highway Jokes More Highway Jokes

What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?

About halfway across.

What are the similarities between a donkey and a Sikh?

They both look incredibly cute when they are little. They both grow up and go into the transportation business. Note: sikhs - or sardarji as they are commonly known in india - are the largest ethnic group in the truck driver profession. Punjabi food is available on highways across the country.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

How are a roof and quantum physics the same?

They both go over your head.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

What do you call a dinosaur that practices Islam?

A Quranosaurus.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!