Which bounty hunter specializes in tracking elves?

Jingle Fett

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What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

What do you call an Italian mobster who specializes in cold coffee drinks?

Al Frap-Pacino

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How about an app that keeps track of every working automatic paper towel dispenser in the world?

All seven or eight of them.

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.