Specialize Jokes

What do you call a repair shop that specializes in hearses?

A rehearsal.

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Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

What do you call a German physician who specializes in the epidermis of the scalp?

Herr Doctor.

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called?

A Sith.

Which bounty hunter specializes in tracking elves?

Jingle Fett

What do you call someone who specializes in trains?

A trained professional

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

What do you call an Italian mobster who specializes in cold coffee drinks?

Al Frap-Pacino

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Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say to the patient that showed up wearing Saran Wrap and nothing else?

I can clearly see your nuts!

Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness?

Mack-a-Dameon.

8 Year Old Daughter Jokes More 8 Year Old Daughter Jokes

What do you call a nut that can't talk?

Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up.

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa say when he is sick?

OH OH NO!

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Second Place Jokes More Second Place Jokes

What do a Catholic Priest and second place have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

What did Orion receive when he won second place in the archery contest?

The constellation prize.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby?

300 degrees in the oven.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)

Why do they run the credits at the beginning of Game of Thrones?

Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end.

Special Olympics Jokes More Special Olympics Jokes

What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?

Not being retarded

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why did the U.S. invade Panama?

Just Cause

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.