Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house?

He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

How'd ya get that?

asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How do you make a Swiss Roll?

Push him down a hill. BONUS: How do you make French Wine? Invade.

What do you get if you push a piano out of a plane over a military base?

A flat major

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

Why don't you have doggie bags?

Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we

Menu Jokes More Menu Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu?

The prices were gastronomical... (I'll show myself out...)

Special Jokes More Special Jokes

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."