How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

What do you call a nun lost in the woods?

A Roamin Catholic.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

Why did the German boy go to Summer camp?

I don't know he did notsay!

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What did the priest get at Toys R Us?

An erection.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the difference between a human and a potato?

Time

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do black people always die first in scary movies?

Because they never run from nothin but the police

Why did the Lebo die?

Cause he was fullllly sik m8.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?

Microwaves!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse?

A brothel sprout

How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

What's a catalyst?

It's how a farmer keeps track of his cows.