How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner?

They lost their reservations.

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet?

BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"

How many posters who type 'r/antijokes' on this sub only do it for karma?

Seriously, I don't know. Maybe 50?

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

Why isn't China a democracy?

Because then they'd have to hold erections.

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood! :)

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns?

An chestra.

How many times can look at the sun with a telescope?

You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

What makes a grown man cry?

Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

When is 100 less than 99?

On a microwave.

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse?

A brothel sprout

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

What's a catalyst?

It's how a farmer keeps track of his cows.

What do Limas Sweed and Bruce Jenner have in common?

Neither can keep track of their balls