How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Why was the little boy speaking gibberish?

Because he lost his marbles.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What "YSK" means?

Everyone keeps telling me that I should know...

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?

Well an erection of course.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do you put a fence around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves!

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why was the baby elf sad?

Because he was Legolas

How do you get a baby in and out of a small bowl?

Use a blender to get it in, use tortilla chips to get it out!

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms?

Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen.

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.