Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

What did one ghost say to another ghost?

Do you believe in people "

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call your mom who used to be your dad?

A transparent ( )

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a stork that doesn't bring babies?

A swallow

Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him?

Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

What's the difference between a baptist and a Presbyterian?

A Presbyterian is a Baptist who can read

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

What do you call 5 people sitting In two rows?

Tetris

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why can't some people help being born Chinese?

Because there's nothing wong with it.

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

What are instructions?

Correct."

Congratulate Jokes More Congratulate Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/