Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an Asian flying a plane?

A pirate.

What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why did the SpaceX rocket explode?

because I don't love you anymore.

Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

What's worse than getting rejected by an attractive stranger?

Getting hit on by an ugly stranger.

Why did Mr. T reject Marxism?

Because Marx said "You have nothing to lose but your chains."

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What am I supposed to do with this computer now?

IT: Work M: Who hurt you

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.