What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles?

Electricity.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What lights up a football stadium ?

A football match !

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

What did one candle say to the other?

Don't birthdays burn you up "

Electricity Jokes More Electricity Jokes

What is the difference between lightning and electricity?

Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity? Alexander: I know you do not have to pay for lightning.

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!