Which came first the chicken or the egg?

The one smoking the cigarette.

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What do you call someone who's never smoked weed?

ilLITerate

What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

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How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.