Which snakes are found on cars?

Windscreen vipers.

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What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

What car does the Loch Ness Monster drive?

A Ford F-tree-fiddy

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How do u find an old man in the dark?

Its not that hard

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

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What kind of snake is good at math?

A: An adder.

What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe.