What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

She broke it trying to read the road signs.

How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call it... What do you call it when a bus and a car are put together?

12 Casualties

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original ) A Porcupine!

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch?

One of his fingers is clean

How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky?

He's got one clean finger!