How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch?

One of his fingers is clean

How do you keep a idiot occupied?

I will tell you how in my next post- Jk the answer's in one of the comments, look through every single one and you are destined to discover the answer.

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What does my finger and lemon pie have in common?

They both have my rang on them.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!

Lunch Jokes More Lunch Jokes

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me."

Where would you take a ghost for lunch?

Pizza Haunt!

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix?

Stupid

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician?

With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...