Who picks up the tab?

The German.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

NINE!

What's the German guy say when you kick him in teh crotch?

Oof, weinerpain!

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What do women and turds have in common?

The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

What pick-up line works 100% of the time?

Does this smell like chloroform to you

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What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.