Why can't you believe what an atom tells you?

Because they make up everything!

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Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes?

I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.

Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

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What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.