Why can't you believe what an atom tells you?

Because they make up everything!

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Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant.

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Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

What did the atheist say when he saw Jesus?

I can't believe this. What did he tell his atheist friend? You won't believe this.