Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What are they doing?

Now I wonder the same thing.

What's the last thing each tickle-me-elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell if a woman is a feminist?

She'll tell you within five minutes.

What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant?

Is it mine"?

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally