Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did Tennessee?

the same thing Arkansas

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

How do you know if a guy has an asian wife?

He'll tell you.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.