Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Legs

Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally