Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

How do I know thieves are bad kissers?

Because apparently I make out like a bandit.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.