Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

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Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same?

They just can't help themselves.

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

Metaphor Jokes More Metaphor Jokes

What is a simile?

It's like a metaphor.

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.