Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why are most Muslims broke all the time?

They never understood the concept of piggy banks.

Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

Because they don't understand CAPitalism

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Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

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What is a simile?

It's like a metaphor.

When is a 2 literally a 6?

When it has metaphor.