Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

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Why was the pun so offensive?

It was homophonic.

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

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What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"