Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

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What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.

Why can't puns be explained to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally