Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What are people afraid of puns called?

Homophonic I'm sorry...

What do you call a herpes pun?

a play on warts

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"