Why did i buy a black phone?

So it would run faster!!

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Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe?

More doors.

What's the saddest computer you can buy?

A Dell

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What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to?

Cantelope.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.