Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the difference between certain and uncertain?

Well, one things for sure

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It made him wed his plants!

What do you call it when a plant used TV Tropes?

A TV Tropism.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.