Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night?

The whole thing was a gas.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What happens when you plant a sesame seed?

Does a sesame grow What is a sesame Where my botanists at Where the hell am I

What did the botanist say to the plant he was tired of tending to?

Grow away.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

What do you call an Irishman who slept out on the lawn all night?

Patty-OFurniture

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?

A Moles Royce.