Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common?

Cold turkey

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What will i do when i die?

Idk!

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What number is higher than infinity?

420

Why were all the numbers afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"