Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hella. How long does it take them Days.

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do John Belushi, Jim Morrison, John Candy, Jimi, Hendrix, and Janice Joplin have in common?

They all died Jung.

What happens to superficial people when they die?

They end up in a shallow grave.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why accountants don't read novels?

Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

What did the number do when it divided from its companion?

Changed its status from 'In A Relationship' to 'Single'.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.