Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

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What's the cheapest present for an ophan?

A tattoo with dad

What does the caller ID say?

Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Because they would crack each other up.

Why don't jokes in base 8 work?

Because 7 10 11