What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

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World Jokes More World Jokes

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him.

What did Masters say to Johnson?

I don't know what the worlds coming to

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

How do you find a white person in the condiment aisle?

A: UM EXCUSE YOU THAT'S RACIST!!!!----oh look, there they are!

Settle Jokes More Settle Jokes

Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president?

Because he never let the dust settle.

How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...