Settle Jokes

What is a dad joke?

Punchlines that got married and settled down.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land

Why is there no "Lets settle this like women"?

Because it lasts forever.

How do two black boards settle their dispute?

They chalk it out

Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president?

Because he never let the dust settle.

How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center?

Too many walkers.

What do call having to settle for buying corn?

Compra maize.

Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?

In a pellet court!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

You might also enjoy:

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

What's the difference between your dad and this joke?

This joke will be back someday

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

What do you call a rabbit in a beanie and listening to vinyl?

A Hopster.

What do You Call a Line... Q: What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A: a receding hare-line.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Snow Jokes More Snow Jokes

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

Why does salt melt snow?

Because when your salty you melt down in tears.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

Why do some race drivers hate wet tracks?

Because the water is a distraction.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Sunlight Jokes More Sunlight Jokes

Why is Robert Pattison so pale?

There's no sunlight in the closet.

What's at the beginning of the rainbow?

Refraction of sunlight in raindrops

Kanye West Jokes More Kanye West Jokes

What do Kanye West and North Korea have in common?

They are both being screwed by a person named Kim.

How tall do you have to be to ride a Kanye West rollercoaster?

About Ye big.