Argument Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

You da bomb" "No, you da bomb!"

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

What is a bigot?

A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate?

Because his arguments against scrutiny.

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

Why shouldnt you ever have an argument with Mbius?

Because theyre always so one sided!

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

Good point

What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

ad homonym

What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

What do you call a guy who can't get a word in edgewise during an argument?

A "moderator", apparently.

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

What runs forever and never dies?

An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.

What is a misogynist?

A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist.

How to win an argument with a deaf girl?

Turn off the lights.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

You might also enjoy:

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What happened when Rick fell down a hill?

Rick rolled.

Why do clumsy people get married?

They fall in love.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of invading pirates?

An **Arrr**my

What do you call a group of squid?

A squad

Bigot Jokes More Bigot Jokes

Whats the difference between a midget and a bigot?

One is small and the Other is small minded!

What is a bigot?

A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the man get kicked out of the "Russian" bar?

Because he walked in.

Why do white girls walk in odd numbers?

Because they can't even

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?

None.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do hummingbirds hum?

They don't know the words.

How is a fish like a bicycle?

Neither one knows how to whistle!

Christopher Reeve Jokes More Christopher Reeve Jokes

What do you call Christopher Reeve before the accident?

Christopher Walken.

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkin?

Christopher Reeve.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ?

A witch with a blindfold !