Argument Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

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When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

You da bomb" "No, you da bomb!"

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

What is a bigot?

A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate?

Because his arguments against scrutiny.

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

Why shouldnt you ever have an argument with Mbius?

Because theyre always so one sided!

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

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What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

Good point

What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

ad homonym

What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

What do you call a guy who can't get a word in edgewise during an argument?

A "moderator", apparently.

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

What runs forever and never dies?

An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.

What is a misogynist?

A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist.

How to win an argument with a deaf girl?

Turn off the lights.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

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Valley Jokes More Valley Jokes

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

What is Bear Grylls' favorite snack brand?

Nature's Valley

Person Shoe Jokes More Person Shoe Jokes

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted mathematician?

The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do fish lose weight?

They Swim-fast.

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Woman Argument Jokes More Woman Argument Jokes

What's the difference between a women's argument and a knife?

The knife has a point !

What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?

A knife has a point.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

When to leave your girlfriend?

When your wife's clothes start to fit her.

How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this?

Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?

A couple of steps closer to their final destination.

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

Occur Jokes More Occur Jokes

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road?

Because they wanted to be taken to the other side.