Why did the hipster's Hot Pocket burn his mouth?

He ate it before it was cool.

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How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab?

He was trying to save Krypton

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Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven "ate" nine.

What'd you call this again?

Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!