Why did the hipster's Hot Pocket burn his mouth?

He ate it before it was cool.

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Why did the blonde burn her ear?

The phone rang while she was ironing!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

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What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak