Why did the python do national service ?

He was coiled up !

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Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

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Why did the python do national service ?

He was coiled up !

What do most people do when they see a python ?

They re-coil !