Python Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

What do most people do when they see a python ?

They re-coil !

What is another word for a python ?

A mega-bite !

Why did the python do national service ?

He was coiled up !

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did they Deer say when she came out of the woods?

Answer: "I will never do that again for 2 bucks " My reply: Ha Ha! :)

What did Norman Bates call his little sister?

You know you see it coming...) A: Psycho-sis! (I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before?

Oh, they'll tell you.

What did the child with no hands get for his birthday?

Nobody knows yet.

Vet Jokes More Vet Jokes

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

Jellybean Jokes More Jellybean Jokes

What Do People Have In Common With Jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Why did the jellybean go to school?

A. Because he wanted to be a smarty

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

Why did Jon Snow go to The Apple Store?

For the Watch.

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

What do you get if you group 8 sodium atoms together?

Batman.

What do you call a family of 8 rabbits?

One rabbyte

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call a dead skunk?

A stunk. My daughter made this up when she was about 7 years old. I thought it was incredible clever.

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.