Python Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

What do most people do when they see a python ?

They re-coil !

What is another word for a python ?

A mega-bite !

Why did the python do national service ?

He was coiled up !

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Which mafia boss came with all the dlc?

John Goty

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?

A: Because she didn't know which one came first!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go to?

A: Heck

How can you always be such a happy person?

I never argue with people. - That's impossible! - You're right! That's impossible.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN Saddest joke ever.

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!

Vet Jokes More Vet Jokes

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?

Episcopaleontologists

Jellybean Jokes More Jellybean Jokes

What do people and jellybean have in common?

No one likes the black ones

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

What does the snowman call his wife?

Snowblower

Pie Jokes More Pie Jokes

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

What is a math teachers favorite dessert?

Pi(e)