Why do marble statues look so mean?

A: They have hearts of stone.

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How would you best describe him?

Me: He looks like a miniature cat

Why does the sad crab walk side ways?

Because he has nothing to look forward to

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Why did the Tinman not go to the ball?

His heart wasn't in it.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What do Lena Dunham & ISIS have in common ?

They both love stoning women.

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones