Why do marble statues look so mean?

A: They have hearts of stone.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why would The Doctor and Storm get along?

Because he is the heart of the storm.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?

You skip them both.