How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"

How many x does it take to change a lightbulb?

f(x), where f(x) = the optimal number of x for establishing a humorous stereotype.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and Sasha Grey?

The look on their face while being nailed.

When your boss asks you "do I look stupid to you?

it's a rhetorical question I know this now

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?

14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

Chicago.

Planet Jokes More Planet Jokes

What do you call a dog from another planet?

A dal-martian

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do you call 10'000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?

A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.

Pentagon Jokes More Pentagon Jokes

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?

Intersect it with a plane.

How did the triangle congratulate the other triangle after hooking up with pentagon?

3edgy5me