Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do grandparents have so many clocks?

So they won't run out of time

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates