Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

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How do you give a time-out to a Mexican child?

Have him stand against a wall.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

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What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions