Why do virgins never stand still?

They are used to being chaste.

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Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

What do you call a European using the bathroom?

You're-a-peein"

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Why was Mary Jane not a virgin?

Her mother leaves.

How do you say virgin in German?

Goodandtight

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What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?

One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.