Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

How did the turtle with no arms and no legs cross the freeway?

Here's a hint: take the F out of Free and take the F out of Way

What walks on eight legs until the age of one, four legs until the age of twenty, and two legs after?

The Weasley twins

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed?

He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral.

What bring a dead duck back to life?

A dead bullfrog.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

What does Diana stand for?

Dead In A Nasty Accident.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .