Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed?

So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

What does a Maple Leads fan do after his team wins the Stanley Cup?

He turns off his Xbox and goes back to bed.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What do you say when a robot explodes into pieces?

Rest in pieces. I'll show myself out now.

How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?

A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

What did the woodworm say to the chair ?

It's been nice gnawing you !

How do four whores sit on one chair?

They turn it over.