Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

A: Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

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How can you always break even at the casino?

Play the change machines.

Why can't unicorns play soccer?

Because they don't exist

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Where does the king keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

Why are white people bad at chess?

They think all the white pieces are kings.