Why is she so loud?

Wife: That's how she talks. Apparently she speaks fluent pterodactyl.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do Jimmy Saville's victims and Aston Villa fans have in common?

They're still talking about what happened in 1982.

Who's there ! Bolivia ! Boliva who ?

Boliva me I know what I'm talking about !

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What language do farsighted people speak?

Farsi.