What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking?

Stephen Talking.

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What is the opposite of leapfrog?

Toadstool

What is the opposite of paranoia?

Thinking you are following someone.

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Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.

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What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

Nothing.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite pet?

tamagotchi

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What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.