What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts?

An iPad.

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Satisfy Jokes More Satisfy Jokes

How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

How did the blind priest find the choir boys?

Satisfying.

I Pad Jokes More I Pad Jokes

Why was the iPad sad?

Someone took a bite out of its Apple.

What do you get when you cross an iPad with a Christmas Tree?

A PiNEAPPLE! Get it? -D

Cnt Jokes More Cnt Jokes

What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts?

An iPad.

Why is Luis Suarez a c*nt?

Because he lives in Liverpool.