Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

because there was no jack.

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Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

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Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality