Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

because there was no jack.

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Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

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What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality

How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128