Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch?

Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!

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What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

throw a load of dirty laundry in.

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

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What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team?

The High Five

What changed to make The Fantastic Four the Fantastic Three?

Nothing.