Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

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Why has the pope never won a gold medal?

Because he always came in a little behind.

What did Charlie Sheen say when he won the Tour de France?

Schwinning!

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What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents?

roommates

What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!