Why would a dead girl lie?

Because she can't stand up.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's yellow has wheels and lies on its back?

A dead school bus!

What do you call lying furniture?

Untrustable

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How can you tell when an idiot's depressed?

Go stand in front of a mirror

What do you call a man standing up to his knees in water?

Wade