What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?

A dead centipede.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?

You use a spirit level.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

How does a blacksmith know you farted?

He smelt it

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock?

Because that would be "grounds" for termination!

What should you do with a burning Kotex?

Throw it on the ground and tamp on it.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

Dead Centipede Jokes More Dead Centipede Jokes

What lies on it's back a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

What is dead on its back, 100 feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

100 Foot Jokes More 100 Foot Jokes

What lies on its back 100 feet in the air?

A centipede

What is dead on its back, 100 feet in the air?

A dead centipede.