How are you today?

Me: Tim.

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Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

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Why didn't Tim have any friends while he was studying fishing?

Because he would just go home and master bait.

How are you today?

Me: Tim.