How can you tell someone is a vegan, cross fitter, or an atheist?

alt) Make a joke about them, and then they'll get real offended.

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What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter?

Cottontales

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

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Why are jokes in base 8 not funny?

Because 7,10,11!

What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

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How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

Why can't atheists solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.

What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

Vegetable soup. I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair into the oven