How can you tell someone is an engineer?

They'll tell you! (Source: am an engineer)

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How do you get high underwater?

seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one

What does the Cincinnati gorilla story tell us?

It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.

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Why do engineers mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31=DEC 25

What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed?

I trussed you.

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Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

Where did Sally go during the explosion?

Everywhere!