How did Stevie Wonder respond when asked how he coped with being blind?

At least I'm not black.

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What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with?

None of your beeswax!"

Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors?

Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!

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What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

do NOT respond with "I know, right !"

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What goes: Click. "Did I get it?

Click. "Did I get it " Stevie Wonder solving a Rubik's Cube.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions