How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call a pregnant nun who cycles to church everyday?

No seriously, a friend asked me this and I didn't know.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How could you possibly know?

Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

How did the Pharaoh feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt

Emu Jokes More Emu Jokes

What is the square route of an EMU?

A RADICAL EMU!!!!!!

What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank